Only joking, of course. Dwain Chambers set a perfectly clean and legal time of 9.99 seconds to win the 100 metres at the European Team Championships in Bergen, Norway.
The time is only 0.02 seconds from Chambers' personal best set in 1999, and is a new championship record.
The 32-year-old is now the seventh fastest sprinter of the year, and his success adds to the sprint double he won last year in Leira, Portugal.
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